my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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