I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
