the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
