so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Never joke about your clitoris.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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