No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
