My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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