Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least