There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
he just fucked me for my cheese.