I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space