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• (713): View more from Texas

  My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.

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• (415): View more from California

  just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (251): View more from Alabama

  My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  Why were you not born a dude?

  (1-727): View more from Florida

  Because god wanted to level the playing field

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.

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