I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
