yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
