I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize