Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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