You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
