turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
