just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize