he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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