Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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