Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
