I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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