Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
