You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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