he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
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She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
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And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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