My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
