Its about making memories worth repressing
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
