that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
dude i'm inner monologue high
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
