so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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