Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
