Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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