I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize