I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
