Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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