Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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