I'm jealous of your bromance
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
