Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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