she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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