Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
