Well apparently he's into motor boating.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
