Dual....:-)
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
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it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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