just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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