I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
