I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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