i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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