I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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