So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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