Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
