He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
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I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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