listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
