What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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