Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
