If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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