I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
