He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
