I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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