I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
