he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize