Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
